Category Archives: Humor

The Coming Zombie Apocalypse

Throughout our history mankind has been plagued by its fear of death, fear of the unknown and most importantly, fear of those that refuse to remain dead. Individuals infected with VMIOs or Victus Mortuus Infectious Organisms within as little as 24 hours of exposure quickly succumb to VM Syndrome (commonly referred to as Zombification). Once thought to be merely a staple of science fiction we now know that so called “Zombies” are real and represent a dangerous and growing threat to global security. There are many examples of disease causing organisms that have been associated with VMS but the precise cause remains a mystery. Sources tell Ebongeek that it is not a matter of if a Zombie Apocalypse will occur, its a matter of when.  The United States Center for Disease Control has provided guidelines on how individuals can prepare for just such a disaster while others have taken a different approach to preparedness.  Outbreaks although rare do occur but are usually handled with the use of massive controlled incineration of the infected areas. A recently declassified report exposed the truth about the secret “Wildfire Protocol” and the joint transnational taskforce created to deal with the Zombie threat. Many that have attempted to expose the truth of the growing  threat have been silenced or disappeared by those that seek to keep the truth hidden from the public. Cover stories have been created to mislead the public which explains why so many fail to heed the warnings.

Be Prepared:
Know Your Enemy:
Educate yourself:

And Happy Halloween! From the Staff of Ebongeek :)

Hiring a Detective to Find a Good Job

by associate contributor tmhwriter ~

With the Job Market so dire and the daily exponential increase of  job seekers; perhaps hiring a good detective might be the best way to spend your money if you plan to pay for job search resources.  Go ahead,  laugh at that recommendation but let’s review some of the most common job search methods .

Job\Career Fairs
In order to be successful at  job fairs, you have to be well prepared.  Apparently there is a method to this madness.  Randall S. Hansen, PHD, has identified ten keys to success.

1. Pre-Register, 2. Research, 3. Resumes, 4. Portfolios, 5. Attire, 6. Strategy, 7. Interviewing, 8. Intangibles, 9. Networking

10. Follow-up  (

Admittedly, these are excellent, but what about the thousands of candidates  you witness waiting in line just to register. Did your strategy include out foxing the competition which could very well be 4000 people? Maybe if you start a peer group, the group can work as a team during the job/career fairs. Four anxious minds might be better than one anxious one.

Job Boards
Registering with job boards such as : DiceMonsterLinked-InLaddersUSA.GOV,, CareerBuilder Honestly, some of these job boards are great.  Consequently, employers periodically use these tools to weed out potential job candidates. This is especially true for Linked-In which is essentially the  professional equivalent to Facebook. What is really scary is the thought of these social media networks joining forces. Just think about the implications of that possibility.

Registering with Temp Agencies
Today, this method is nothing to snooze at, however; be prepared to work long-term as a temp or contractor with no vacation, sick, or holiday pay.

Career change vehicles
The catch phrase is retrain to seek the “new jobs”.  You have seen the headlines, “The U.S Economy added 290,000 jobs in April” (Daily Finance, 2010). How often are these jobs outlined or identified?  How can you retrain for jobs that are a mystery? What happens if you retrain for a job that is offshored in two years, will you be willing to retrain again?

Billboard Advertisements
A relatively old idea gaining new zeal is putting your face on a Billboard. The jury is still out but how comfortable are you with this method. Imagine your friends finding out you need a job this way. Wow, is that Suzie?  I had no idea she wasn’t working.  We better stay clear of her, she might ask us for ….

Career Experts
This is a novel ideal, however;  beware of  the multitude of scam artist that advertise they will clean you up, polish your resume, and open the doors to a great new career.  In addition, there are so many gimmicks out even from a well known career  websites. Case in point, here is a blurb from  “The new Monster Interviews app for your iPhone . Get expert advice and practical resources to help you prepare for your next job interview.”

Do-it Yourself
You might have great success at using your own job hunting skills.  A key thing to remember is make sure your research is current. For example , if your research incorporates reading books like What Color is your Parachute. , In 2002, According to the Author, “the number one worst job search method is trying to find a job on the Internet. The success rate for this method is about 4%. Out of every 100 job hunters who use the internet as a search method, four of them will a job if they use only this method to search for a job” (Odinstitute).  Well, what does that say about the Job boards in the year 2011??  Luckily,  there is an updated version ,  What Color Is Your Parachute? 2011: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers. The book is available on Amazon for a reasonable price $19.13 ( .

Considering all the methods, hiring a detective may be most successful and cost-effective strategy. Just tell the detective what type of job, corporate culture, and pay and see him/her work magic. A good detective should be able to tell you about details of the company not disclosed in annual reports. The detective should be able to tell you who the hiring managers are, their hiring history, and if the job is really available.

Indeed, this method isn’t for the faint of heart.  If hiring a detective doesn’t make any sense to you, still be encouraged, maybe geared with the right information you will  find a combination that works.